epilogue

[NOTE: my blog has still "officially" been moved to posterous. this is just the epilogue to these posts.]

just re-read some of my old posts - its always interesting to read what i've written in the past. i feel it appropriate to write a final chapter to the story of my posts here on blogger.

it's amazing what can happen in the space of one year, and darn near staggering when you step back and look at 5- or 10-year increments. ten years ago i was a sophomore in college, working at a roofing company, and had just decided to major in psychology. five years ago i was about to graduate with my master's degree but was unemployed. one year ago i was trying to gain my footing in a new job and had just signed a contract to build a house. two years ago the US was fluttering with excitement as barack obama was elected president; tomorrow is the midterm elections, and the US is a mix of apathy, despondence, and fury at the current state of affairs.

in all cases, be they public or private, we are quick to judge the outcome by our present status. i have previously posted on my tendency (like many others) to seek refuge in religion during difficult times. and in doing so, i illustrate the lack of foresight and [often irrational] anxiety that is innate in my humanness.

a lot of my blog posts have been about the journey of figuring out "who" i am (i guess that was how blogs got started in the first place, right?). i haven't figured it out yet, of course, and i don't think i ever will...or that anyone really ever can figure it out, as we are always growing and changing and evolving. (props to heraclitus for figuring that out some 2500 years ago.)

even if i may not be able to exactly articulate 'who' i am, i do know that i am increasingly disinclined to describe or label myself as anything which i do not entirely embrace. two particularly poignant examples in the present sociocultural climate would be political and religious affiliation. groups in these particular realms expect their members to agree with and embrace certain tenets, or descriptors, that the group leadership has identified as being "this is who we are and what we believe." (see: Oklahoma Republican Party's Platform. for the record, religions as a whole aren't quite as bent on forming in-groups/out-groups , hence their many denominations.)

in my youth i was comfortable finding groups that were "close" or a "near fit" to how i saw the world and declaring my membership with them. labels color the world in black and white binary and allow us to simplify everything so that we don't have to spend time or brain power wrestling with the gray areas of life. us vs. them, right vs wrong, good vs evil, it's all very efficient.

i'm guilty of using labels to describe myself and others, and i'm trying to stop. i'm also trying to be accepting of people who are comfortable identifying with groups that are "near fits" for them. i really enjoy intellectual dialogue (and, when blogging, monologue), and i hope we can agree to disagree about something - it'd be kind of a shame if we felt the same about everything.

okay, i think i'm officially out of thoughts for this blog. thanks google, it's been a blast. (p.s. - i love gmail & google docs!) now, on to posterous!

Need vs. Need

Many of you know that I work in the HIV/AIDS community in Oklahoma, a state that has developed a reputation for not being particularly embracing to people of alternative lifestyles or perspectives. I spend much of my time designing programs to improve access to treatment and care, enhance education and prevention measures, and perhaps most of all - how to garner increased funding for our programs. As is the case with most non-profits and governmental entities, I am often faced with the reality that the need is great while the resources are few. So, I set out to do what you always do when requesting more funding: Demonstrate the level of our need.

That's where things get sticky. Oklahoma's economy is closely tied to its tangible resources, namely oil, natural gas, and wheat. While it initially seemed that the global economic crisis might not have a substantial impact this state, Monday's announcement that Oklahoma City Public Schools will be eliminating 131 teachers and administrators and closing three elementary schools in an effort to trim the district's budget by $17 million cast a decidedly pessimistic light on the state's ability to weather this storm unscathed. Along with the Department of Education, most state agencies are looking for ways to cut program spending, including programs that directly affect our clientèle. The response from all levels of the Oklahoma HIV/AIDS community has been "No way! We need this money! HIV/AIDS is still a big deal!"

This is true. Every nine-and-a-half minutes someone in the US is infected with HIV [Video]. Here in Oklahoma, there are an estimated 4,605 people living with HIV/AIDS, nearly half of which live in the Oklahoma City metropolitan statistical area. Yes indeed, this is still a big deal.

According to UNAIDS, Sub-Saharan Africa has around 25 million people living with HIV/AIDS. They've had 2 million new cases reported in just one year - that's more than the total number of cases in the US. And in some African countries, close to 30% of the population is HIV-positive. Infection rates in southeast Asia continue to climb, especially in places like Pakistan, Afghanistan, India, China, and Thailand. So, that's obviously a big deal as well. One could argue that the situation in Africa is worse than the situation in Oklahoma. But how much worse?

I find myself struggling with this issue on a regular basis. How do we determine where to direct our resources? Should we develop a global Level of Need rating system and apply it to all countries? (Hans Rosling has already collected that data; even on a logarithmic scale the United States' need pales in comparison to Sub-Saharan Africa.) How do we decide how much funding should go to prevention and how much should go to treatment? Or, would we be better off to fund something else altogether, like HIV testing, access to fresh produce or iodized salt, mosquito nets, needle exchange programs, education, housing, economic development, etc.? (Watch this video for a much more academic conversation on this question.)

The answer, I suppose, is simply "Yes." Yes, we should support efforts to prevent, identify, and treat HIV both domestically and overseas. Yes, we should support efforts to reduce poverty and increase education and protect people from malaria-carrying mosquitoes. Yes, this is a big deal, and we should fight it. Fight it in lots of places, with lots of tools.

the end is here

if you haven't already heard about this story, here's the link.  

basically, the crowd awaiting the black friday sales outside a walmart store in new york let their greed and impatience get the best of them.  they busted in the front doors and rushed the store, trampling a 34 year-old seasonal employee to death.  then people were mad that the police asked them to leave the store.  

seriously, folks.  things have gotten out of hand.

good golly

my apologies for being so absent lately; it's been busy around these parts! most notably, we're moving back to oklahoma city!  brenham has been lovely, and we'll miss many aspects of our small town life down here.  however, we're greatly looking forward to finding out all that God has in store for us next!

in other, not-about-me-at-all news, tomorrow is election day!  i hope everyone will take time to vote.  gabs and i did some early voting last week, and are anxious to watch the results tomorrow night.  [okay, i am...gabs isn't really a politics aficionado.]  obviously healthcare is a huge issue in our household, so if you don't personally feel like you have something to get behind, you can consider picking that one. ;)

two good bits of news: 

1. free starbucks tomorrow if you tell them you voted.  [thanks mike.] hooray! 
2. really cool photo set of the london tattoo convention courtesy of joe plommer.  [thanks marisa!]  the album contains a lot of profile shots that show off the people as well as the art. 

speaking of art, stay tuned for more news about my own art in a few days.  i have some uploading to do...