reality is a nice place, but i wouldn't want to live there

It occurred to me the other day that our concept of reality is quite slippery. Each person is largely responsible for recognizing what is "real" to them, and thereby create their own sense of reality, to some extent at least. However, because some portion of a person's "reality" will inevitably vary from another person's "reality," we are left to argue over which reality is correct.

An example of this is the SNU bubble. I asked the students in my Gen Psych II class to complete a story based on a short prompt provided to them. Without fail, all five groups developed the story as if the main character was a student at SNU. While something similar to this university-centric pattern may or may not occur at a larger university (e.g. University of Oklahoma), the point is that the students in my class shape their reality by the environment they experience everyday.

The difficulty I have had this week is when people say something to the effect of "Well, just wait until you get out in the 'real' world," or "Wait 'til 'real life' hits." It seems to me that those statements are used to put down the person who is doing the "waiting," as if to imply that their lack of experience in the "ways of the world" have somehow made them inferior. Commonly used in the context of people who are sheltered from "bad things" in life, they are viewed as being immature and inexperienced. Is their situation in life considerably different than a Bushman from southern Africa who sees a city for the first time? Or any different than an individual who was raised on the streets of Harlem attending the University of Iowa? (I can hear the flame war beginning...)

Sure, maybe the Bushman would have a hard time adapting to life in an industrialized nation, and so he remains with his people in Africa. Sure, maybe the hoodlum will find it difficult to believe that people on campus care about him, and go on to sabotage those relationships. And sure, maybe the sheltered SNU student will live their entire life in the Oklahoma City area and only experience the "real world" through biased mass media presentations. But, should any of these three example people venture out into the new "real world" that they are privy to, they would still only be able to experience it from one vantage point.

My argument here is for tolerance. Tolerance of other's experiences, however myopic they may be. If you have a wider variety of experience than someone else, share it with them! Talk to them, tell them about your experiences and let them make the comparisons. Berating someone for not immediately or innately understanding what your perception of the "real world" does nothing, save for possible solidifying misconceptions they may have about you. Just because someone doesn't "know" doesn't mean you should write them off. Patience. Talk. Live. Love.