regressing toward the mean

if you live in the okc area and don't watch the 10 o'clock news broadcasts, you are really missing out on some fantastic comedy. doesn't really matter which channel, though i think that channels 4 (nbc) and 5 (abc) are the best. tonight's leading story on channel 5 opened with a graphic of a map of okc and the words "pizza delivery man assaulted."

and now, what i consider a wonderfully insightful comment from tc:

"The best part about academic writing is that you don't have to commit to anything with a skillfully worded sentence."

indeed, my friend, indeed.

skortman

OH MY DEAR LORD. this is definition of disturbing.

http://www.skortman.com/

damn i'm bored

while reading comments on alt's blog, the point was made that pointless images and listless stories rarely elicit the same response as "abrasive, crude, and often personally attacking" the "big issues" of life and religion (especially Christianity, or the whatever it is we have now).

but, lo and behold, there is hope for those of you who (1) have meaningless, petty blogs with no readers, or (2)have meaningless, petty lives in which you only read my blog. your hope can be found on amazon in the form of a book entitled Blogging: Genius Strategies for Instant Web Content.

interestingly enough, i found the book on a blog dedicated to festivus. man i love seinfeld.

obligatory

happy thanksgiving, suckers.

R.I.P.

at long last, sam, three-time winner of the world's ugliest dog contest, has passed on to the ugly dog afterlife. in honor of this crispy little guy's blessed demise, again the picture of sam that i posted in july:
/can i get a side of ranch, please?

gentlemen, start your mowers

i had almost forgotten about the glorious site, letsmow.com, which represents the lawn mower racing association on the web. please peruse their galleries for your speedy landscaping enjoyment.

this is the end

last weekend of grad school coming up. probably going to do some kind of celebration on saturday night. more details on that soon. let me know if you have anything to suggest/offer.

with the end of school comes the final paper and presentation. since i'm working on that all week, please feel free to drink your jesus juice and read the most recent posts on hopeless.

it's so good once it hits your lips...

/one seat, please.

halloween 2

This guy went as "blind patriotism" for Halloween.

Props for both creativity and humor.

halloween

this has always seemed to be one of the "second-rate" holidays of the year. more than anything, halloween has always seemed to be a necessary marker on the road to the "true" holiday season of thanksgiving, christmas, and new year's. however, in recent years it seems that halloween has been attempting to make a move to into the celebratory limelight, a move which certainly makes econmic sense.

halloween, like most other holidays, has become a cash cow for the american economy, and with proper marketing, it posesses the potential to rival christmas for profit margins. think about it: billions of consumer goods are manufactured for one day's worth of usage. a list: 1. decor. the season to have them up is a couple of weeks at most. yet, some people put up as many pieces of decor for this one holiday as they do for the entire month of december. and much of the decorations are cheaply made and designed to only last one year: fake spider webs, window clings, pumpkins, etc.

2. costumes. millions of people dress in stupid costumes on this day. many people may wear the same christmas sweater year in and year out, but find it customary - even necessary - to have different costumes each year. likewise, parents everywhere are buying cheap plastic outfits of current cartoon superheros that will be lucky to last through tonight, much less an entire year. and even if they do, they will not fit the child any more, or they will not want the same costume. the costume craze benefits other sectors of the retail industry as well, for certainly the existance of the "party store" centers on the halloween holiday. masks, capes, rented wigs, fake blood, excessively expensive (yet cheap) makeup, etc. - all for this one day.

3. candy. trillions of pieces of sugary goodness being devoured just moments after aquisition - what could exemplify the american society more than our drive to consume candy? the goal of the holiday for most children is to take in as much of the product as they can, so that they can consume more of it than their peers. in doing so, they are not only falling prey to american consumerism, but also to the american tradition of growing a huge ass.

4. alcohol. probably not as big of a deal as some of the summer holidays, but if you're like me, it's going to take some decent amount of booze to get me feeling comfortble in whatever ridiculous costume i've created during the afternoon.


photos from this forum on fark.com.

i'll post when i'm good and ready, dammit.

one of the poverty-stricken mentally ill individuals that i work with scrounged up enough money to order (via catalog) a leather jacket for another, even more poverty-stricken mentally ill individual, just because she felt bad for him having to wear jean jackets in the winter. she had me give it to him because she wanted to remain anonymous. i am continually amazed at the selfless attitudes of some people, particularly when seen in such stark contrast to the egocentric greed of those around them. i increasing hope that certain poor individuals will indeed inherit the earth.

cognitive behavior

found a great website today: thinkexist.com. reportedly they have over 190,000 searchable quotes from over 17,000 authors. naturally, you have to pay to get some of them, but the freebies are worthy entertainment as well. found some nice onces about christianity (taylor, if you're reading this, you should definitely check it out.)

i continue to struggle with my career options. still thinking about firefighter, though my fat, lazy ass disagrees. i think i'll go have some ice cream and play San Andreas while I contemplate my future...

garage

saw cross canadian ragweed last night at the wormy dog, and got a copy of their new cd to boot. good show, even if none of my friends went.

/loser


also, the job hunt is still on. recent events have again fueled my fire of wanting to leave hope, and so i've been talking with new york life, of all people. and if that doesn't work out, maybe i'll be a firefighter.

bandwagon theology

i guess i'll jump on the social observation/theological conversation bandwagon with tc and alt. i do this for two reasons: (1) i am tired of trying to remember my thoughts on the subject until i see one of them (at which time i am usually drinking and do not feel it is polite to discuss religion or politics), and (2) because i had a ridiculous day full of pop-christian cliches, culminating with my visit to mardel this evening, and i just can't take it any more.

i saw a van today, which had the following written on it's back door:

If your Religion doesn't
take you to Church,
it might not
take you to heaven.

then i went to mardel. then on the way home from there, i see the sign at tulakes baptist that says:

not believing in god hurts like hell.

taylor, i hope these guys opt for the shit in the mouth.

shameless plug

again, i am plugging my link for getting a free ipod.

http://ipods.freepay.com/?r=15144288

if you still have doubts about this, cast them aside b/c it is indeed a legit thing. you can see joe's blog for his posts regarding his real-life free ipod. i have but one completed offer, from none other than alt. so, if four of you would be so kind as to complete an offer (several are only $1, and are easily cancelled within the trial time). I'll even pay you $5 to complete a $1 offer, thus you would make $4.00! if you don't help, i'll be forced to find a crackhead w/ an ipod and give him the five spot.

shameless.

midgets and bad music

after doing my usual scouring of fark.com today, i came across three stories i felt worth mentioning.

first, and possibly the most disturbing, both michael jackson and prince plan to record songs to benefit the victims of hurricane katrina. benefit would be the humorous word here, in case you are comedically challenged.

second, bob denver - who played gilligan on gilligan's island - died last friday. apparently he drowned at sea, and after his body washed ashore they were able to release the news to the press.

and third, just a link to a story about midget bull fighters, because what's funnier than a story that starts out saying "the unnerving thing in the bullring at this dusty central Mexican town is that bull and bullfighter are standing eye to eye, both about four feet high."

Man Accused Of Abusing Prairie Dog

i don't know that i can relay this article from denver, colorado any better than it already is, so here's the direct quote:

"Man Accused Of Abusing Prairie Dog
DOW: Prairie Dog Spray Painted

POSTED: 9:41 am MDT August 26, 2005

A Western Slope man was cited for allegedly abusing a prairie dog by spray painting it bright orange.

The Colorado Division of Wildlife cited Chad Reiner for cruelty to animals, illegal possession of wildlife and harassing wildlife.

According to witnesses, Reiner was working at a construction site in Fruita Wednesday when he caught the prairie dog, tied a rope around its neck and spray painted it."

source link here

sick day

so i'm going to post twice today, because i have fallen victim of food poisoning courtesy of snu's dining source, sodexho marriott, and i have nothing better to do.

anyhow, here is a link that i meant to post last week. thought many of you ('specially taylor) would find it interesting, and perhaps even thought-invoking.

so, who likes creepy megachurches?

all i wanna do is a zuba-zub-zub!

i was struck this week by the continual humor we are permitted in this life. the particular instance which grabbed my attention was the sighting of zubaz pants on several occasions around town. one occasion was an unfortunate young boy wearing them while mowing his jungle of a yard. no doubt his mother told him not to wear his "good jeans," but rather to wear his father's hand-me-down dallas cowboys-colored zubaz.

the second, and perhaps more frightening, occasion was a man who lives on my street. oddly enough, he was also out mowing his lawn, but was doing so with an electric lawnmower. (wait for just minute to draw your conclusions about that - any hint of doubt will be erased henceforth.) his zubaz of choice sported not the supportive colors of a professional football team, but rather the distinct print of pink floyd's dark side of the moon album cover.
i have not the words to describe the joy/splender/abhorrence i experienced when i saw those pants.

i know that there are probably those of you who are already wondering about it, so yes, your dreams can come true. the pants are for sale on ebay.

dr j is a sick, sick man

courtesy of noel, i bring you "gem sweater." consider this your warning.

"with these shoulder pads i have the strength to destroy villages, homes, and crops."