Friday, August 22, 2008
Tag..I'm it
so, here are the obligatory rules:
1. Post the rules on your blog
2. Write 6 random things about yourself
3. Tag 6 people at the end of your post
4. If you're tagged, DO IT and pass on the tag
and now for Amazing Answers About Andy:
1. i have really big feet. all this hub-bub about michael phelps and flipper feet - ha! in 7th grade i wore a size 12, but out grew them so quickly that i was able to hand them down to my dad. i was up to a size 14 when in 10th grade, and have since upgraded to size 15. let me tell you, son, it's a pain in the keister to find shoes, unless you want to wear ginormous solid red high tops and look like ronald mcdonald. and i don't. but, thanks to online shopping and build-to-order services, even a yetti like me can have appropriate footwear.
2. i collect[ed] pez dispensers. i have over 100 of the hinged-head candy caddies. i added the [brackets] because it's not really an active collection; due to frequent moves and lack of space to display them, i have held off on purchasing any for the last several years. in case you don't know, ebay was started by a guy whose wife collected pez dispensers, and it was originally designed as a portal for pez lovers to connect and buy/sell/trade online.
3. i'm a huge computer nerd. casey claimed that he's a comp nerd, too, but i think i have him beat. when i was kid (like, 7 years old), my dad would give me circuitboards to play with in the garage. there's been a computer in my house since i was tiny. i played king's quest I (which was just called king's quest back then). i used the internet before al gore invented it. i've hand-built every pc i've ever owned. i went to computer camp in the summer. i took computer programming and calculus classes for fun. i hacked TI-85 calculators. i've had 13 email addresses (down to just 3 now). during undergrad i worked with a friend to infuse an entire computer lab (and several of our friend's personal computers) with a trojan horse program that would allow us to control the computers from our dorm rooms, even doing things like opening and closing the CD-ROM. i've never paid for any microsoft software
4. classic rock runs in my blood. as a child, it wasn't christmas for me until i heard bruce springsteen's santa claus is coming to town. and still to this day, the perfect saturday must include lots of sunshine, open windows, and a radio blaring a playlist consisting of led zepplin, aerosmith, the beatles, clapton, skynrd, the black crowes, the rolling stones, ac/dc, and the like. (i sang several songs by the doors in the shower yesterday, in fact.) over the years other genres have crept in, but its hard to compare with what the '60s and '70s gave us: the the guitar solos from stairway and freebird, the moving melodies of let it be and american pie, or the anti-establishment lyrics of ohio and revolution. man, where is m ipod when i need it...
5. my eyes are different colors. if you haven't noticed this yet, you will now, i'm sure. somewhere around seventh or eighth grade (presumably when puberty really started kicking in) my eyes went from dark brown to...something else. like most people, their difference varies slighty based on what i'm wearing, but on the average day one is brown and one is green. makes me think of wayne's world 2.
6. i have a tendency to talk to much. of course, if you've been reading this post, you've probably figured that out already. and so, i'll something that is random for me, and just stop here.
i now have a dilemma: everyone i know with a blog has already been tagged, except for one person: joe. so, my friend, whenever you happen to read this, you're tagged.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
you know you want it
Sunday, July 27, 2008
childhood seduction
Layla at Andy's Wedding
apparently harry bear was so entranced he didn't know how to respond.
Monday, July 21, 2008
i'm a nazbeen
anyway, in facebook world i am a faithful member of a group called "Nazbeens." to quote the group page, it's "a group for facebook members who grew up in the Nazarene faith and have since left it (often due to ignorance or lack of gravitas in the church)." there's all kinds church- and denomination-related dry humor there, as well as interesting stories of how we all became nazbeens. we have 61 members, including several faculty members (past & present) and multiple individuals who are currently in the mission field.
as i was deciding what to post here, i came across a blog post by a good friend of mine, Dr. T. Scott Daniels. in one way or another, scott has had a significant impact on the development of my conceptualization of christ and the church. and in his post, i think he is quite accurate in his view of what we nazbeens have experienced. for simplicity, i have quoted his post here, in SNU crimson storm technicolor:
The Naz-beens: Funny and Depressing
A former student of mine sent me the following link today - http://www.cafepress.com/nazbeens
It is a link for the "Coterie of the Nazbeens" - translated as an organization for "those who grew up in the Nazarene faith and have since left it (often due to ignorance or a lack of gravitas in the church)." The site offers a line of apparel, housewares, and buttons for all Nazbeens (I assume it is pronounced like Has-Beens).
I cracked up at the marvelous creativity it takes to come up with this stuff. At the same time I continue to weep over the drain of intelligence, commitment, and passion for transformation that is taking place as we lose a generation or more.
I believe we are losing them because we have given them a non-fundamentalist heritage of intelligent wrestling with the questions of faith and a passion to see the poor and broken transformed by the universal grace of God - but we have stopped living out that heritage ourselves. So although many of our young people have left the church to pursue secularism or sensualism, I believe many more have left as a faithful response to the gospel we have given them.
Although this may sound strange, I am proud of those who have left as a response to Christian faithfulness. I wish all of you were still here in the denomination fighting it out and helping her to re-tradition herself, but I understand why the desire to pursue God's call would lead you elsewhere. Keep the passionate faith of Christ embodied in Wesley and Bresee alive. As soon as the rest of us quit majoring in the minors we'll come and join you.
canadian gambling
anyway, i just filled one out for chili's, and upon reading the sweepstakes rules, i came across the following line:
If a potential winner is a Canadian resident, such person must correctly answer a mathematical skill-testing question prior to awarding of prize.
weird, huh? those crazy canucks make their citizens pony up some math skills before they can win money. here's the link if you want to read the rest.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
marriage manifesto [repost]
In a word, reciprocal. I want a marriage that is an equal yoking of two individuals, each who give 100% effort and contribution to the relationship. I want to be able to talk to the other person on the same level about things that are important to each of us. I want to use language that is fluid and fluent to each of us, that we can both say exactly what we feel and mean and can convey that to the other person with minimal distortion. I want a relationship built on the cornerstone of empathy, on giving the other person the benefit of the doubt before passing judgment on their motives or their action. Where both people strive to understand the other person and not simply press to be understood. I want to listen to my spouse's concerns and hopes and dreams - and for her to listen to mine as well. To really hear what I'm saying, picking up on and understanding the underlying emotions that fuel my fire in life. I want equality in purpose and drive. I want to not feel like we are competing for justice or love or time. I want openness and honesty and trust from both sides, so that each person feels completely, 100% able to say what they feel about a situation - to express their deepest fears w/o ridicule, to be transparent and vulnerable without fearing the other person will fail to acknowledge (or worse, trample upon) their heart. I want passion in the relationship, in making daily efforts to understand the other person and what goes in to making them who they are. A passionate, deep-seated current of love that runs through the relationship, saturating it at every level. A passion that joins both people together at the heart, filling them each so that they feel they cannot contain the emotion in their own body, and that it flows out through the way they interact with one another - and with the world. That the fierce love and appreciation of one another as individuals and as members of humanity so impacts them that they cannot help but respond to one another - and to the world - with reciprocal love. I want a love that is truly the opposite and total abdication of power and control. A love where neither person feels the need to have control in the relationship, that there's no need to hold back. A love that is not perceived to be constantly at stake, a love that does not have to be earned through actions. A love that permeates and persists despite the ups and downs we each have internally. A love that exists in the relationship because it exists in each individual. I want freedom - not freedom from the relationship, but freedom within the relationship. Freedom for both people to express who they are without judgment, freedom to embrace time apart with the same fervor as time together, for it is in the presence of each that the other has value. I want to feel cherished, to feel that I have value as an individual, as a person, as a member of the community of humanity. I want to feel like my desires and dreams in life, however far-flung or ludicrous or ill-formed at the moment, are valuable and worthwhile. I want to laugh and have fun in life with my spouse, to easily see and dwell on how funny life is, even in the tiniest of moments. I want to laugh at the differences between people - not simply at humorous things, but a sort of heh-oh-wow-look-at-that-how-interesting-I-can't-help-but-be-wonderfully-amazed-at-the-world-and-it-makes-me-so-happy kind of laugh, where my face smiles at the subtle differences because my heart is smiling on the inside. I want a marriage where both people strive everyday to be happy and to make the other person happy. I want a marriage where both people find fuel and vigor for life everywhere, where pain and suffering and happiness and joy and angst and confusion are all ingredients that we need to survive, and each are tasty in their own way. I want a marriage where both people strive to reduce chaos in the world. Where our shared values for what is good and right in the world directly translates to what is good and right for us at home. Where messes and annoyances are understood to be part of life, but are viewed as temporary things that each person seeks to remedy as soon as they are able; not where messes and annoyances are just tangible manifestations of the emotional condition of both people. I want peace - emotionally, physically, spiritually. I want a marriage where neither person cares about being right, where right and wrong don't really even matter, but where it is the discussion of everything that is the enjoyment. Where both people are able to look at every side of something and find truth there. Where "your way" and "my way" are truly, truly able to melt together and become "our way." A marriage where everything is reciprocal, that each gives all they can without fear or guilt or shame, and where even if they do feel those things, that its safe to talk about it, without judgment or criticism. Where excuses and defenses aren't needed, and thus aren't used. Reciprocity. Partners. Benefit of the doubt. Love. Freedom. Abdication of power. No control. Love. Laughter. Fun. Dreams. Concerns. Peace. Life.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
summer in a small town
additionally, here are some pictures from our the 4th of july parade we attended yesterday in round top, texas:
it seems my mind has been dwelling on content similar to that of some of my friends.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
more than a wall post
thought i should write a bit more than what a simple wall post should contain, so you get a full message this time. :) i apologize for the length in advance. you've got free time, though, right?
job hunting sucks, no doubt about it. back in november, i was in the same spot - working two jobs, as a therapist at a low-income clinic and also as an adjunct prof at my alma mater. my two jobs, combined with gabriele working at two different clinics, was barely making ends meet. so, i started looking for a job, even one i didn't necessarily want. i figured, hey, i'm marketable, and something will pan out here pretty soon.
as christmas approached, several things happened: some clients resolved their problems, some stopped coming due to their own financial considerations, and both gabriele's car and my truck bit the dust in quick succession. she and i pray together every night, and it seemed like our prayers kept becoming "Dear God, please help us out. Send us some money, a job, or at least some sort of hope that things will get better."
Naturally, they didn't. several weeks later, after borrowing money from our families (even my little sister, which was humbling) and hundreds of anxiety-filled, sleepless nights and tearful prayers of lament, we drove down to this small town in south-central Texas for a job interview. more prayers, and we decided to accept. that led to borrowing more money, being apart for two weeks, a host of other bizarre and unexpected problems, and our eventual arrival here in brenham. i've since received three paychecks, and we have yet to be able to pay all our bills on time. i've sold a ton of stuff on ebay to make ends meet, and we continue to be amazed at the generosity of our friends and family.
and i think that has been the point. i have always been the one in my group of friends who always had it together - i always was able to lend money, to pick up the tab, to buy the first round of drinks. the one who people came to when they needed help, advice, a place to crash, or help working on their car. in the last six months, i have been placed entirely out of my element time and time again, left feeling completely incapable of "fixing" anything in my life - and nearly everything was broken (except my relationships with God and Gabriele, of course).
in two weeks, we will get our first "joint paycheck"...and that will go to pay for our wedding. but then, on august 1st...well, that paycheck will go to pay for our car tags (which are currently 8 months overdue...so we still have our paper tags on). THEN, on september 1st, we can start paying people back. except, i know that no matter how much money i make, i will never be able to pay these people back, because what i have received from them is so much more than money. there's no price for love.
i guess i said all that to say this: things will get better. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow - though both of those days will undoubtedly have wonderful things within them - but things WILL get better.
in the meantime, i'd also suggest moving to a small town - the people are nicer, the pace of life slower, and when you feel like you don't have anything, you can just look out the window at the beautiful flowers and landscape and realize that in fact, you have much more than you could ever afford.
Friday, June 06, 2008
life in the big city
near where we live there are the following stores:
Continental Hairlines
Amazing Space Mini-storage
Blast-n-Cast Taxidermy
fantastic. keep 'em coming, brenhamites.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
movie disclaimers
Saturday, May 17, 2008
an ebay story
...and the heavens rejoiced!
Friday, May 16, 2008
herd theory: the mane event?
anyway, with finances being a little tight 'til payday, i began to entertain ideas for how to cope with the situation, and voiced the option of shaving my head. while shooting that idea down, gabriele made an interesting point - that when men my age decide to shave their head, it seems to be a point-of-no-return decision; once its shaved, they rarely grow it back. she cited a friend and one of her brothers as examples, and it got me thinking...
my friend joe and i have discussed, at length, what i affectionately call "herd theory," and the many possible implications/examples of it in modern day society. aside from the broader sociological implications, we wondered how herd theory might translate into individual decisions. a good example of such decisions that would seem to have some root in evolutionary psychology is physical appearance - in particular, we're talking hair. (not hair.)
fur, manes, hair - they all essentially have the same purposes: temperature control and protection. joe suggested a parallel between a male lion's mane and his own efforts (earlier in life) to form his hair into some sort of protuberance (e.g., the faux-hawk). mane-like parallels could also be drawn with men sporting long locks and even afros. all of these hairstyles - and really, any hairstyle - has plentiful examples of certifiably attractive males (not pictured) to support the theory of pretty hair being the modern-day equivilant of a nice lion mane.
but what if you're bald? bruce willis, tiki barber, michael jordan, patrick stewart, even natalie portman - all are attractive bald people.
i have to go to a meeting now, but please, let me know your thoughts. my entire theory may be in danger here.
[update] just realized this is the 100th post on my blog! congrats, me!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
deferring customer service
OSLA: Good morning, OSLA.
Me: Hi, how are you?
OSLA: Good, what can I do for you?
Me: I need to speak with someone about my account.
OSLA: Sure, what's your social security number?
Me:
OSLA: Okay, Andrew, how can I help?
Me: I need to see about getting it deferred for another year.
OSLA: Okay, are you still at [old address]?
Me: No, I recently moved. My new address is [new address]
OSLA: Okay, you will be getting a letter in the mail confirming the address change. Anything else I can do for you?
Me: Umm...is there anything else I need to do about getting it deferred?
OSLA: Nope, that's it.
Me:
OSLA: No problem. Have a great day Mr. Moore.
Seriously, you don't get that good of service at a gentlemen's club.
Friday, May 02, 2008
blogger resurgence
recently i have experienced a resurgence in my blogging, the strongest since i first began this blog several years ago. at that time, many of my friends had blogs (most of them on xanga), and it was not uncommon to have a post stimulate 30 to 50 comments and essentially becoming a bulletin board of sorts. but then our blogging began to wane...
myspace took over, and facebook to some extent. everyone was on there, always commenting, messaging, posting bulletin surveys, browsing profiles for hours, etc. and then we all withdrew into ourselves, just checking our profiles to see if someone else had messaged, but rarely sending a message ourselves. again a quietness ensued...
and then i moved to brenham, and gab and i decided to start a blog dedicated to track her/our experience with rheumatoid arthritis. in doing so, i realized i should update my profile on blogger to reflect our present location. little did i realize that that action would stimulate a flutter of activity and surprise meetings of other BOBs (born-out-of-brenham, as opposed to those who are born-in-brenham) and the entry into a new group of friends and even a church. tremendous!
along with the active blogging, i have again taken to facebook, increased my instant messaging, and even started twittering. it has been rewarding, and i feel that it has again enabled me to draw closer to many people, whether they live in brenham, okc, or even minnesota or wisconsin.
ah, the power of the interwebs. thank you, al gore.
sweet, only 2 minutes left. another useful aspect of blogging makes itself known.
Monday, April 28, 2008
so, thanks casey, for the subtle invitation. my uber-connected soul thanks/curses/taunts you.
and for the rest of you, you can read my twitter feed in the sidebar, and even follow me, if you'd like.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
the end is near!
background. the asteroid 99942 Apophis, discovered just recently in 2004, is expected to pass by earth at a distance no closer than 18,300 miles - that is significantly less than the orbits of most geosynchronous satellites. oh, and this is predicted to occur on Friday, April 13th, 2027. yes, you read that right: Friday the 13th.
bad luck. so, this asteroid is going to pass by earth on friday the 13th, but what's the big deal? you said it wouldn't be any closer than that, right? yes, that's correct, for that particular date. however, 7 years later Apophis will again pass by earth. the tricky part is that should Apophis strike any of the hundreds of satellites we have up there, its path will be altered enough that it may hit earth directly. oh, and this is predicted to occur on Sunday, April 13th, 2036 - Easter Sunday. i'm serious.
so, in summary, if we have the most unlucky friday the 13th ever and Apophis hits a satellite, we may all meet our maker on easter sunday seven years later.
but andy, what are the chances of this even happening? well, NASA's Near-Earth Object Program said there's a 1 in 45,000 chance that it could happen. better than the lottery, but still a crap shoot. but wait - while doing his research project, a 13 year old german kid calculated the risk to actually be a 1 in 450 chance. still very small, but waaay too close for comfort.
what are we going to do?! well, NASA is looking at several different plans, and from reading this article, it sounds very much like the discussion in the movie armageddon. they haven't decided to send up a crew of oil field workers, but they have talked about trying to cover the rock in some sort of reflective coating and pray that the solar rays push it away from earth. which is like someone throwing a baseball past you, and while it's going past, you try to throw a water balloon up in the air in front of it. i don't know about you, but my money would be on the oil field guys at that point.
there are a ton of other factors to be considered in this. the asteroid is too close to the sun right now, so we can't even get a good look at it until 2011, and won't be able to get a radar measurement until 2013.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
magic brush
\not really, but they are really cool and effective.
Monday, April 07, 2008
new blog!
jointogether4ra.blogspot.com
(i'll still post mindless stuff here, don't worry. don't want to clutter up that blog w/ my weird stuff.)
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
south bound and down, loaded up and truckin'
tuesday. no available apartments in brenham. also, a water pipe busted at matt & tasha's, so we had to shower uber-quick before turning off the water to the house. for the night...and most of the next day.
wednesday. plumbers finally arrive after 5pm, so we had water again. still no place to live in brenham.
thursday. still no available housing. argh. also, my mom's car broke down in the pouring rain while i was at work. had a coworker drop me off at walmart, where i wandered for a couple of hours, then walked (in the rain) to starbucks, where i sat reading for until they kicked me out at 11pm, then walked back to walmart until my dad arrived at 12:20am.
friday. had car towed to dealership, and they were able to fix it! (yay!) cost $1200. (boo!) oh, and still nothing available for rent. gabs arrived in town. (yay!)
saturday. still nothing available, but we did call about a skeezy looking rent house. went to dinner with gabs' family.
sunday. upon arriving at chipotle in college station, gabs & i discover that apparently someone failed to stop properly in their parking spot last night at the restaurant, thus smashing our trunk in.
monday. lady called us about an available apartment! i put down deposit on said apartment! the heavens rejoice!
now, just have to figure out how to afford the U-Haul necessary to get us from okc to brenham. any suggestions?
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
the eyes of texas
so, aside from sitting on my tush in training classes for 8 hours a day, i am desperately trying to find a place to live in brenham, so if you happen to know anyone with connections here, let me know.
also, on an unrelated note, i was pleased to discover that brenham sells dr. pepper bottled in dublin, tx, which is one of the few locations that still uses imperial pure cane sugar in their recipe. they only deliver within a certain radius of the plant, and it's tasty stuff, so i'm pumped. my dad has already requested i bring him some.
and now, some pics of my drive from bryan/college station to brenham:
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
humor
gab: "i have to brush my teeth...they feel gross, and it's interfering with my ability to hold a conversation."
____________________
gab: "hey, that cox has a wreath on it!" (referring to a cox communications van)
____________________
gab: "oops, i sat on the bread."
____________________
andy: "i have to go doody."
gab: "'DOODY?!' baby, that's worse than 'boom-boom!'"
____________________
gab: "women shouldn't have sideburns."
more to come...
Saturday, November 03, 2007
skeleton follow-up
Sunday, October 28, 2007
march of 1000 flaming skeletons
Sunday, October 07, 2007
scooterists...mount up!
recently, we held our 3rd annual scooter rally, with this year's title being "Pandora's Big Round-up." we chose a western theme to coincide with the state of oklahoma celebrating their centennial this year as well. activities included a buffalo hunt, rock-a-billy concert, and scooter rodeo (complete with saddle and live ammo).
i definitely need to give credit and massive appreciation to joe for letting me borrow his scooter for the rally, as mine remains in the shop.
and now, some more pictures!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
herd theory
the herd theory is built upon the basic premise that humans have evolved over time from some lower species that operated in large herds that contained one (or at most, just a few) males and a large number of females. similar to a pride of lions, perhaps...think of the lion king.
to apply this to modern day mankind, i believe that each male views the females in his life - especially the single ones - as members of his "herd." as members, the male feels a need to protect the females and watch over them, provide for them, and be strong for them in times of weakness.
females (who, by the way, may or may not be aware of the existence of herds at all) may be members of several different herds, each headed up by a different male. when a female marries another male, the head male of her original herd mourns the loss of one his members, as she then the key member of her husband's heard. when a male meets a female whom he deems worthy and desires her to be in his herd, and finds out she is already a member of another herd (i.e. married, dating, etc.), he ignores/suppresses this fact until he meets the other male. at that time, a handshake occurs, which is the modern day equivalent of two antelopes butting heads on the plains.
with this in mind, lets take a darwinian fast-forward to look at the transition from tribal to modern-day urban communities. it seems that over time, certain qualities evolve to become more desirable than others. the primary example of this is that while being big and strong may be beneficial in a tribal community, it is less important if you live in, say, 21st century minneapolis. so how have all the weaklings survive? was it solely the work of being protected by the strongmen?
i'd like to think that at some point, people realized that being strong may not always be the best status, and that being intelligent (or better yet, wise) might be more advantageous, as having the discernment to know what fights to pick and which ones to avoid might keep you alive longer. and so, the wisest people in society started to become the Chosen Ones. wise men married wise women, as they were the best at raising wise children and thus perpetuating the lineage of wisdom.
and so, that's my narcissistic argument for why the modern day guru - the psychotherapist - is the top of the food chain.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
blame it on the rain
damn rain.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
love
i was asked how this relates to marriage, to how i see god being invovled in marriage. to answer, my reply must begin with my conception of god.
i maintain a belief in some sort of higher being, though i readily admit that i relate to this greater reality in many different ways, because i feel that we cannot adequately describe whatever he/she/it is with even the most eloquent language. because i was raised in the southern united states, i have been taught to describe love in terms of the Christian God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, and so that is the default method of how i relate to this...presence, being, whatever. for me, god is love.
for me, the description of god and the description of love begin at the same place. i'm convinced that if all languages had a singular term for love (or equally different terms for different types of love), and that all the terms for love and for god or gods or supreme being or great spirit or enlightenment or allah or greatest whatever were replaced with this term that crosses all geographical, cultural, and religious barriers, that the world would look at their religion, at the key tenets of belief in humanity and everything else, in a considerably different light. it would cease to become my god vs. your god or my beliefs vs. your beliefs, and would shift to my love is your love is also how we all know and experience and share love.
as a child, my family would convey love by saying things like "i love you thirty bushels" or "i love you a million billion trillion bushels," with the intent to try and top the other person's concept and amount of love. similarly, i have a dear friend who speaks love with her child by comparing it to numerous things in nature, such as "more than all the grains of sand on the earth" or "more than all the stars in the heavens." the truth is, our attempts to try and imagine all the love in the world, to feel its height and width and depth and density, is an ultimately futile endeavor, because the love of god (that is, love itself) is far greater than our minds are capable of imagining. picture the largest thing you can imagine, and love is still greater than that. makes your brain hurt.
love is. it is the life-force that exists within every person, between every person, in the air and water and land around us. i suppose i crudely equate it with the idea of the Force on star wars, in that love is in an around everything, and that for some it is stronger than for for others. and we all experience love (and if you will, god) in different ways. i have a very difficult time imagining that god is limited to merely the ways christians experience god - i personally feel that i can equally experience god through a traditional christian worship service, buddhist meditation, laughing and playing with children, song and dance, helping the poor and needy, and reading the stories of humanity's past that have been enscribed as sacred texts for many different religions. who am i to limit the way god reveals himself to humanity? love crosses all borders.
can you imagine if everyone embraced love with the same fervor? if everyone embodied love to each person they interacted with each day - imagine what it would be like to feel safe when you were vulnerable, to be transparent with others and let the know the true you without fear of judgment or retribution or obliteration! imagine what it would be like if even every person took this approach with just one person in their life! what if everyone truly loved just one other person?
and so, i suppose this bring us to marriage. in my observation of humanity and interpersonal interactions, it is hard to not acknowledge how some people seem to just fit together better than others. (i have often debated the idea of the soulmate, and i am still undecided on the issue, but have new thoughts on it.) for me, marriage is a wonderful institution; it is a sacred union between two people who are best suited for helping one another experience love. it needs to be the combination of two whole persons, both of whom are filled to the brim with love, perhaps even overflowing with it, so much so that their union produces a third aspect of life, a whole 1+1=3 phenomenon, where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. this is the true experience of love in a marriage! - where both people are so deeply committed to embodying love to humanity as a whole that their combination creates an outpouring of love to all they encounter, both individually and together. it's like little individual all-star teams, where both parties work so incredibly well together that they enhance each other's ability to perform. (this compounding effect of love is explained very well from a christian perspective by rob bell in his video flame. definitely worth a look. you can also look at his nooma website for additional videos; rhythm is incredibly appropo as well.)
for some (we often refer to them as saints in the catholic church), this union need not take place with another human, but with love (god) itself. and really, i'm increasingly convinced that it should be the realization that such a union would be acceptable and agreeable and beneficial that is the precursor to even considering marriage to another human. if we cannot be whole and filled with love on our own, how is it that we are able to give it to someone else? i feel far too many people enter marriage with the expecation that the other will complete them somehow, and this is unhealthy. we need not complete someone, they need to complete themselves, and then are capable of rolling alongside us.
for me, marriage is peace, not chaos. marriage looks like deep green grass blowing in the breeze; it is dark hardwood floors and neutal colored walls, lots of windows with sheer curtains, contemporary leather furniture, clean lines, soft linens. it has lots of mirrors for good self reflection, and it also has bright works of art on the walls that puncuate the peace by which they are surrounded. marriage is not a cluttered apartment with red walls that are splattered with orange and yellow paint; where tables and chairs must be cleaned off in an effort to create a momentary spot of peace in an otherwise chaotic space. marriage is refuge, marriage is rest, marriage is love.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
no more myspace
What I am trying to say is basically my explanation for deleting my myspace. I have come to believe that the internet and its numerous online communities (such as myspace, facebook, friendster, chat rooms, and other social networking sites) create a seemingly limitless number of opportunities for us to compartmentalize our lives. We can create ourselves new each time, even multiple times within the same community, thus embodying whatever version of ourselves we wish to be in order to interact with whomever we like.
i'm not saying that compartmentalization is entirely bad, and certainly for some people it's different than for others. for me, right now, i'm looking for wholeness; for a greater sense of unification within my self. and really, for a greater richness of relationship with everyone in my life. transparency. honesty. openness. love.
Monday, April 23, 2007
marriage manifesto
Sunday, March 04, 2007
arm tattoo version 3
much more to be added to it in the future. hopefully by summer. until then...
uncle andy
Monday, January 01, 2007
Monday, December 18, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
wait...no, nevermind
blog on!
this is the end. my only friend, the end.
even more sad is that i have posted a new entry to my myspace blog in that time period. (okay, so it was just this week, but still). and so, i think i'm going to have to bite the bullet and own up to the fact that active blogging is a thing of the past for me, and since i don't do it as much, i am going to just let this blog die. as much as i like blogger's format and ease of use, i realize that my peak blogging behavior (as well as that of many of my formerly frequent-blogging friends) has waned considerably. this is primarily due to the rise in popularity of myspace, i'm sure. and, as much as i hate to admit it, despite it's ugly, ad-ridden interface, frequent downtime, and infestation by ridiculously annoying bands, adolescents, fake profiles, spammers, phishers, pornographers, and friends, i am a myspace addict, and i must feed my addiction. and to be honest, i like having everything in one place.
so, thanks for the laughs, the cries, and the conversations, blogger. i won't even delete you...i'll let you live on in legacy, until google says you've been inactive for too long and casts you into the darkened void of electromagnetic oblivion.
adios.
Monday, October 23, 2006
mas fotos
http://scoot.net/gallery/2006/09/pandora/alltinyindex.html
Good stuff.
Friday, October 13, 2006
ukulele
then today, i found the midnight ukulele disco. contains some pretty interesting covers, and several very funny/odd songs, such as angels gave me roofies, transgender bender, and who's got the crack.
Monday, October 02, 2006
moore's honor



she had loaned her car to a friend, and he was involved in a multi-car collision with a deer (he was the 4th vehicle to hit the animal). car was totalled, and val let it sit in front of the girls' dorm for several days while she waited on the word from state farm.so here's to you, val: to all the black eyes, car accidents, and living with sloppy roommates; to conquistador andy, hallway rivalries, and throwing tonka trucks; to jerky boyfriends, kaybee toys, el chico, and chili's; to old lady perms, bee stings, legos and barbie; to being a moore and not liking chores; to liking to party and eating real hearty. may the best be yet to come. you are...conquistador valerie!
gonzo
i feel like my dog just died.
so, after hours of re-installations and updates, i think that i am officially back to the beginning. perhaps this event will help my wife see the need for that second hard drive on the RAID controller...
Sunday, September 24, 2006
do you realize??
Finally, here are the pics from the Flaming Lips show. A couple of comments to begin: (1) No, I didn't take these personally. More on that later. (2) Though I didn't take them, I apologize on behalf of the person who did for their semi-poor quality. (3) I don't know whose hand is in several of the photos. I think it was the short girls in front of us. Consider this public flogging for their henious act of overt photo terrorism. Now, more pics!Steven Drozd (below), guitarist, keyboardist, and very generous soul who made it possible for us to have the VIP passes. Gracias, my friend.

(below)View from our position looking back into the crowd. Does not do justice to the number of people who turned out for the show. I do like the woman in the habit, though, especially because she appears to be nine feet tall.

(below) An innumerable amount of confetti and balloons were released during the show, shooting several hundred feet back into the crowd. At times, it felt like it was raining happiness.



(below) Girls on left side of stage dressed as aliens. Opposite them were people dressed as Santa Claus. All were from the crowd; they just happened to be lucky enough to get pulled onstage.
All around, it was an amazing show. The degree to which Wayne was able to involve the crowd - physically, mentally, emotionally - added an extra umph that continues to make Flaming Lips concerts not just a musical performance but a participatory event for all who attend. One of the most powerful moments during the show occured when Wayne said that one of the best things about a Flaming Lips concert (and indicative of their fans) is that no matter how crazy or insane a crowd may be at one of their concerts, you never have to worry about something dangerous or harmful happening. Thursday, September 14, 2006
synæsthesia
neuroscientists have verified that synesthesia is a specific condition, which occurs when an individual who receives a stimulus in one sense modality simultaneously experiences a sensation in another, e.g. hearing sound in color. (see the wikipedia link above for specific descriptions of the various types of synestheisa)
our first conversation about synesthesia was rather eye-opening (pun intended). since that time, my investigations into the phenomenon have yielded an increasing amount of self-affirming information, helping me to gain a greater understanding of how i have always related to the world.
while many synesthetes report experiences during childhood where they made comments such as "play the purple music," i fear that my desire to conform to what i believed to be the right & proper way of viewing life instead caused a suffocation of expression and creativitiy. obviously certain aspects of my synesthesia have been quite useful, such as how i view the calendar (as a whole year and as it breaks down into months, weeks, days, etc.). to say to someone "this weekend is a couple of tall towers" would likely result in a reprimand of some sort; however, viewing upcoming days in terms of color and size is quite helpful if you are making plans. perhaps that has contributed to my rejection of a daily organizer for the majority of my life.
i am excited at this [seemingly] new lease on life. as my superego allows my id's color to flow into my ego, my perspective on many aspects of life is changed. emotional content that was once reigned in by monochromatic conformation powerfully bursts forward. i feel as if i am living the life of pleasantville.
partially unrelated, this is a red-letter weekend. tonight (thursday) i will be seeing jason boland's acoustic show at the wormy dog saloon, followed by tomorrow's "margarita friday" celebration and the flaming lips (see below). naturally, reviews and pics to follow.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Toe - Day 1: Well, we won.
However, about halfway thru the first half, I attempted to "clear" a ball out of our end of the field, and in doing so drove my foot into the heel of an opposing player. While he did have to take a seat for a little while, it looks like I may have received the worse end of the deal:

I feel I should note that I decided the injury was not life threatening, and being that we only had 2 subs, I played most of the second half, albeit at a slightly slower pace than usual. And yes, I did score a goal with the afflicted foot, but boy did it hurt.
The colors continue to worsen as time passes, so I'll try to post some daily pics over the next few days in case it gets real pretty.
For another nicely-colored past injury, see here. I kicked myself.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
wikiality
And to save you time, a link to African elephants and Idaho.
And since I was on Wikipedia anyway, today (August 1) is the day the following musicans were born:
Jerry Garcia
Chuck D
Joe Elliott
Coolio
Monday, July 17, 2006
a zaireeka reflective

sunday afternoon, about tea time, i had the esteem privelege of joining fellow bloggers joe, amanda, jenn, cody, ryan, jon, and a few others for a listening part for the flaming lips album zaireeka. sadly, wayne coyne was not present, as he had to leave the state for a prior engagement.
i'll get it out of the way and explain that "zaireeka" is a combination of the words "zaire" (yes, the african nation) and "eureka" (not the springs in arkansas). "zaire" represents chaos in life (and, i suppose, in music), and "eureka" represents that serindipitous moment where something occurs to us (again, both in life and music). and truly the album had a certain zaireekan quality to it, a sort of chaotic jumble of sounds that gave life to auditory epiphanies from time to time.
my most striking acknowledgement is that the listening experience was distinctly different for each person in the room. while jon & i manned disc number 2, joe was enveloped by disc 1, ryan and jeff huddled closest to disc 3, and amanda was near disc 4 (though cody handled it's play/pause duties). jenn split the distance between 1 and 2, though she probably had a better angle on 3 and 4 as they were both pointed at her. likewise, cody had good angles on 1, 2, and 4, with the wine rack blocking much of 3.
and i think the varieties of listening experience is the essence of what wayne was seeking to create in recording the album. in the liner notes, wayne notes that not all CD players play at the same speed, which inherantly provides some degree of mismatch between the sounds of the discs (we witnessed this as well). Perhaps this is most appropriately conveyed by quoting said liner notes:
"From what I can tell, CD players will not play in synch with each other. They get close, depending on the quality of the players, but for the most part it can be pretty random. It was this part that excited me, the fact that they played close enough together that you could tell what was going on, but also played unpredictably in front of or behind the other making it confusing. Sometimes one would start behind and catch up to the other, other times the opposite. What I like best about it was how different and out of whack and otherwise simple song could get...and with that in mid I started to think with an "expanded" view of what music and songs could be... I would try to present music that was both clear and confusing, where rhythms fought each other, where time signatures were simple yet unpredictable... music that would be unfamiliar even after a thousand listens. Music that, according to the normal ideas of what music is, doesn't work... instead of listening to a song and passively being either entertained or bored the listener would be engaged and agitated.. soothed but suspect.. in a state of suspended anticipation.. The listener could hear an exaggerated dimension of sound where sometimes reverb comes before a sound occurs, other times it's delayed.. Where a melody that's pleasant and uplifting, upon being shifted slightly, becomes dissonant and interruptive.. Where crescendos miss their cues either late or early or both... making music that purposely destroys its own momentum... and instead of hearing these things and thinking of them as being wrong or annoying... I heard the possibilities of a bizarre new format."
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
blog version ?.0
All undergarments aside, in case you didn't see Zidane's headbutt from the World Cup finals, here it is:
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
i'll raise you a spamburger
And just because they entertain me, here are some of the phrases from my recent spam that were particularly enticing and/or ridiculous:
FW:NarlyErection
-=LonelyHouseWives=- WouldLikeToGetLaid
Tiny~Tina Do yyouu wwantt to mmeett tonnigght?
I am continually amused at how many ASCII and alpha-numeric ways there are to refer to sex and genitalia. Thank you, spammers, for your humor.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
hosed

Final night of the sleep study. In 12 hours, I will be $400 in the black on this deal. Let's hope it goes better than last time. Sounds like Joe had a similarly bad experience with his first night.
Goodnight.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
slave to money
On an unrelated note, I also took part in the 2006 NAMI Oklahoma NAMIwalk today. It was crowded, rainy, and slightly cold, but otherwise a good time. I got to see a number of clients from my former employer, Hope.
In seeing these people today I was reminded of why positions at community mental health facilities have such a high turnover rate for employees...and likely for clients as well. More than anything, the lack of change in the individual clients' lives is difficult to face. Today I saw four clients who, due to the severity of their mental illness and/or cognitive deficits that they possess, will probably never be able to reach the level of recovery for which they strive. And after seeing those people day in and day out for two years, with their constant struggle to just stay afloat, a person gets disappointed. To be one of those unfortunate people is even more of a struggle. It's diffifult to find the motivation to work on your recovery when you're surrounded by people who are content with complacency.
That to say, I was inspired in my efforts to be a licensed professional counselor, becuase I, like many others, need to see results for my actions. Fruits of my labor, if you will.
Also this week I found out that I passed my LPC test. Studying is overrated.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Sunday, April 23, 2006
ink number 2
Friday, April 21, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Saturday, April 08, 2006
holy week
New pics to come, new stories to tell, new links to follow. Gimme two days, maybe less.
Excited?
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
you like to put jelly on a lady?
Speaking of movie trailers, there is also a new Jack Black film entitled Nacho Libre due out soon. Looks decent, has potential, hope it delivers.
Two other links worthy of mention:
1. Guy gets speeding ticket w/ wrong info on it. Writes very humorous response to gov't, and gets a reply.
2. Why [this guy] will never have a girlfriend. Probably b/c he is a huge math nerd. This has been around awhile, but is still funny, even if you don't like math. Nerd.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Keepers of Lists - The Keepers Welcome You
Keepers of Lists - The Keepers Welcome You
Sunday, February 12, 2006
times have changed
Incidentally, if you are an aspiring evil overlord, this guy has a pretty decent handbook to follow.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
links of interest
And so, here are this week's Links of Interest:
crash different. Hilarious video of a guy complaining about Macs. New fav video.
rock, paper, saddam. If you haven't already seen this flash movie, it's worth the time.
broke mac mountain. While we're making fun of Macs, here's this.
The Always Amusing Euphemism Generator. Marginally funny.
McVideogame. Try to run the McDonalds corp w/o running into the ground. Go ahead, try.
And to top it all off,
Oklahoma Full Auto Shootout. Festival where overweight Okies and thier young children get together in the hills to play with high-powered automatic weapons. On video. With tracer bullets. And explosions.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
stumbling with firefox
One such extension is the StumpleUpon toolbar, which gives you a button that, once clicked, takes you to a random website (you select various categories of subject matter) that you probably wouldn't otherwise find. In the spirit of other link-driven sites such as Fark.com and CollegeHumor, here are a few of the links I have "stumbled upon" this week:
Indian [Eastern, not American] music generator. Prepare the Quicky Mart.
Finger puppet DJ thingy. Funny and pretty cool.
Badass drumline guy. Dresses like a douchebag, but he wails on the drums.
Stories from a suicide-watch nurse. Insightful, thought-provoking.
More to come.







